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I even purged all her stuff a time or two. But inevitably the unquenchable need to be Jennifer always came back, and it would come back stronger and quicker each time I tried to deny her. Truth be told, I am glad I attempted to get rid of Jennifer. Because my failure to do so has affirmed that she is who I am and who I was meant to be. The fact that my desire to be a woman would never go away, but had become instinctual helped prove to me that I was never truly a Jeff, but always a Jenn. She wasn’t a fetish or some deviation on being bi or gay, but real flesh and bl**d femininity. Whenever I was her, I felt right and whole. Whenever I see her in the mirror or a photo, I know she is me. And I am so glad, so very glad, I embraced myself by embracing her. Jennifer started out shy and timid – uncertain of herself and how others saw her. Not quite sure she was attractive or desirable. She began life with a pink and white wardrobe and long skirts which suggested virginal purity but did not. I hoped I would find her easy to work with, and so far that seemed to be the case.I was amazed at the amount of granite Al's suppliers carried. I didn't want to guess how much money was tied up in inventory. The raw material came from all over the world. Russia, Brazil, India, China, U.S.A., Canada ... every continent had the resource and the colour and pattern variation seemed almost limitless. It was hard to imagine you couldn't find a colour and pattern that would satisfy everyone.Al had four suppliers and we visited them all. In each case, the granite was stored outside in huge slabs. The suppliers learned that the best place to view the product was in natural daylight. I had no idea there was this much material available just in the greater Vancouver area. There must be one hell of a lot of new and replacement countertops being sold.I was walked through the finishing process from beginning to end. I wondered how long the bits on the drills and blades on the saws lasted. I.
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